The Conversation – Alice + Granny 2 Good

The Conversation – Alice + Granny 2 Good


I have my very own gaijin granny following me around. It seems as though she is attempting to get to know me better, but mostly she is just a difficult person to get along with. Jake isn’t so bad, so for his sake I will try to get along with the busu old person. Yes, she is technically my elder, but she would try the patience of a monk.

I mean, who asks, “ Who is this person that everyone tells you that you play like?” of someone. The easy answer would be to just say that I’m Alice from assassin dolls, but noooo. I was stupid enough to respond by talking about anime. I mean all of anime. Watashi Wa Baka Desu Ka? I’ve watched some cartoons, especially any of the more recent Disney Princess ones, like Frozen and Moana. I would have loved to be Moana.

Beast, if you’re listening, next time I would prefer to be Moana.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not horrible being a kick ass assassin chick, but Moana is still cooler. I opened my phone and youTubed some clips from my Anime favorites, like A-Jin, Bleach, My Hero Academia (because Izuku is hot in an oblivious teen sort of way. I’m ten, sue me.), Assassin Dolls (of course), and Assassination classroom. Does the dasai babaa actually appreciate the culture I am trying to teach her? Of course not.

“So, that is very interesting,” she says in what I am imagining was a condescending tone, but I could be wrong, “but who is the girl you are always compared to?”

My shock must have come across as confusion because she repeated herself.

“Are you really Alice in Assassin Dolls? Is that your life?”

Dasai babaa was too nice for her. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I can even here write what I thought of her at the time. I took a deep breath and smiled a killing smile up at her and said, “It feels like my life. My memories are those from the show. Sure, it’s a little weird, but it’s all I’ve ever known.”

I think I melted her brain a little at the response because she finally moved on. Not that she was any less insensitive with her next question, “How is it that you are a girl and Carl and the beast are boys?” Does she think I LIKE living in a bachelor pad with three guys? Or having to make a little bit of a living by spending time at cons around the state? The guys who hang out at conventions think that if you are a girl, you must be on offer, especially if you are doing CosPlay. Of course, that’s not what she wants to hear. She thinks her question is reasonable. “The Beast thinks that it’s because the psyche of Carl shattered when it couldn’t take being a mutant and living in that household. Trip thinks it’s because, like Depeche Mode said, God has a Sick Sense of Humor. Personally, I think that the portions of Carl that are emotionally stronger couldn’t actually express themselves as a guy. Carl thinks of emotions as belonging to the feminine, so the emotional firecracker is me.”

“So you know that all of you exist- but why pick an animated girl?”

Then and now I think granny is just a little bit insane. It’s as though she has no real contact with the world around her. When I’m not more forthcoming, she comes at me from another angle.

“How old are you?”

I thought that was obvious, but I answer her anyway, “Ten…as far as I can tell.”

“How does that work? You know Carl is way older! Is that like having a Peter Pan complex?”
Count to ten so you don’t try to murder the gajin jiji onna. The busu dasai babaa can kiss my…smile and breathe. “I think I understand the problem here. You’re looking at this as though any of the four of us had a choice in this. You’re also thinking about this as though each of the four of us aren’t real people. I am a real person, granny.” And then a kawai the hell out of her with a smile and a hand gesture.

She blinks for a moment or two before she smiles back at me and asks me a good relevant question, “What are your powers?”

Another lengthy explanation ensues. This one about how my sound powers work, and how they differ from my old Radar Sense. I explain that my powers are sonic related. I also explains how they were fairly week Radar sense to begin with and have grown.

“So what are they now? I ask so that I can work better with you!” Patience, I cry into the silence of my mind. At least I have rational thoughts unlike the babaa in front of me.

“My powers use sound and protect me from sound. I can make things really quiet, I can also reflect sound. Not only that, but I can see radar waves and sound.”

“What does seeing radar waves do for you? How does that help practically?”

“Seeing radar gives me eyes in the back of my head. I can see everything around me up to about a thousand feet away, even through walls. It’s hard to see things in detail, but I get all the basic shapes without issues.”

Finally, I seem to have satisfied her curiosity. I certainly hope that Jake is worth the trouble. Just as I’m about to leave she says, with a granny smile that would curdle milk, “I was thinking the short people should stay together.”

“That sounds interesting,” I responded noncommittally.

“Does that mean good?”

“Yes. Anata Wa Baka Desu.”

4 Replies to “The Conversation – Alice + Granny 2 Good”

  1. So glad Ethel doesn’t speak Japanese, or know how to use a translate program! This was a fun email exchange!

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