Short Hand Dictation

Short Hand Dictation

Apparently, I’m supposed to write my thoughts and experiences down for a potential keepsake or book deal that Ethel thinks will happen after this hero business takes off. So I am orally dictating this to my intelligent and amazing grandson, Shorty, because I am lazy and dumb and I don’t proof read things so I won’t know what he is writing because he is the best and is trustworthy and is getting great grades.Anyhow, so we arrived back from Antarctica, and…. Are you writing this down? You are not going to get that gold star if you do not write every damn word I say.Okay now, where were we. Oh yeah, so Snake Person, Pawnchy and I were out the rest of the weekend with a contest of sorts. I went and save myself in another dimension, but lets not get into that.

This better be written without grammtical errors if they are gonna believe its me. So run this thru word or something after okay?

So Ethel made a bunch of money. Your other you I guess got a bunch. No you don’t get any money for this so stop asking. This is your normal duties. So I gave her a gift in her living room. You should ask your twin about it. Oh he told you? Yes its a smaller version of the one in the living room. Are you writing our conversation right now down? No just the story, not this. Ok so stop writing our current conversation. Yes you can have some of the bagel bites you left in the freezer after you are done. No, they are not the ones from space, they are just the earth ones. I am not going to make a trip just for bagel bites. Eat those or you can get your own with your own money. Hurry up, I don’t want to have to keep doing this. Let’s speed this stupid story up so we can stop wasting time with this dumb villain and get on to something better like finishing the repairs like you said you would help me do.


So the stupid Papa Zombie.


The day started out with people at that sword guy’s place. The one with the robot I modified, yes the arch nemesis to Megatron. So I am sitting there minding my own business as they bicker about their adventures over the weekend, when news pops on the TV about the return of the liberty bell. Ethel asks me about it and before I can get into sharing details she cuts me off. I guess they don’t really care about the work it took. Who won? Well it wasn’t the other me with that stupid nickname. I left his bell at the bar. I can’t believe he started liking that nickname after a while. Oh well. I guess when people want to try to attack you all day every day your mind gets dull and you accept stupid tags. So back to this story so we can be done. I get cut off they talk about different going ons and then Ethel goes to work. So I decide I better go. I guess a few stayed behind or something. I heard Black Phantom mind fucked the sentaur guy. Make sure you spell that right. C-E-N-T-A-U-R. I see you trying to scribble the other word out. Just keep going and you can take care of it later. So apparently they are intimate and are spending lots of time together in each other’s minds. Who am I to judge this what century? No really what is it? Oh ok. Sometimes I forget what year it is still. The whole dying and coming back at a different time keeps messing me up. So the two lovers do their thing and we eventually meet up at Spirit Enterprises. Ethel drives me because I was focused on a gadget I am working on. Yes I will show you it, but you cant share it with anyone yet. Put the notepad down and step back.


So that is what that does. So the chief of police woman had me distracted I thought she was the secretary. She seemed to know me, but I was busy in thought. Next we met and talked about this Papa Zombie guy. Yes, we will get to what the news said about that later. So we discuss different options. I say my few thoughts on the matter and sword guy gets all upset. He says something about innocents and how I have no respect for life. Apparently he forgot how he went all ISIS on some of those fools in Antarctica, getting ready to slit their throats. So I let him say his peace. We get done and discuss the logistics of the group. It takes forever, just like every damn morning at sword guy’s. So we make our way to the crime scene. As we arrive we are debriefed by the police. Apparently the black phantom guy, which I still don’t know why he has that name. Its not like he turns into a ghost. They should call him Mind Bullet or something. At least that would be more accurate to what he can do. Or take out the phantom part of his name. So he sees some lion man about to be killed by Papa Zombie down the street. So everyone flies off except for C-E-N-T-A-U-R man who is now Beast from X-Men or whatever. He I guess went down the street and snuck off on his own. What was I doing? I was observing, but I was also hanging back letting this group figure out their identity. So they did, kinda till that thing happened. Is that good for now? I need your help real quick. Put the paper down. No stop writing what I am saying and hel~~~~~


3 Replies to “Short Hand Dictation”

  1. Interesting, epiphany even. This was a great insight into Jake. I think he already visited Murder Master based on a certain sentence, but I can’t be sure. Still, very informative.

  2. Loved the dictation to Shorty! I hope this isn’t the last one like this we ever see – it’s a great and hilarious angle to get Jake logs written.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *