Hank and Rebota

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This story, as all others by me, Victor Valenzuela, is brought to you by Tecate®. Tecate® Beer: We Are Bold!

“So, how did you and La Flamma Blanca become, well, Heroes?”

The Horse stood up, and calmly looked at the speaker, “That was my old name- I prefer Hank nowadays- I only use La Flamma Blanca in commercials and public appearances.”

“Sorry, no offense meant, I just wondered how you became how you are, so amazing.”

Victor took over the story at that moment, seeing that his friend Hank was wanting to just hang and chill- and drink. “Well, we were walking down the street after a photo shoot for Tecate®,” and, as if it was inbred into me, I stood up, held my Tecate® can up as if toasting the room, downed it, and got another. I then continued the story. “We were walking down the street, I was riding what was then still known only as La Flamma Blanca bareback, with no reigns, and we were drinking in the beautiful night air. It was a long walk home, but we were in no rush, and the moon was shining brightly in the warehouse district we were passing through.”

“Suddenly, out of nowhere, a forklift careens in front of us, and punctures a huge canister! There was a cloud of strange gas, and I passed out. That was the last I remembered until I saw Hank/La Flamma Blance standing over me- but now he was upright, on 2 legs! He said, “Victor, are you ok?” and I passed out again.”

“I woke up a few miles away, not knowing how I got there, but only a few blocks from my place, on a park bench. “Wow, that was a bad dream,” I muttered, swinging down from the park bench- and falling onto the grass. I stood up, and realized that either this bench was an optical illusion, or something was horribly wrong!”

“Jockeys are not tall, but I knew how tall a park bench is, and how tall I was- I was 5’3″- until then! Panicked, I rushed home, and had to reach up to get to the door knob! I grabbed a tape measure from the kitchen junk drawer, and checked at least 10 times- I was now only 3′ tall!”

“Maybe it was not a dream- maybe Blanca really was now standing on 2 legs!” I shouted to my empty home. I had only owned the ranch in Old Orchard for 3 months- I had wanted somewhere for La Flamma Blanca to relax while we were filming and doing events.” Victor stands up at this point of the story, and goes to the fridge.

“Anyone want another Tecate®?” polling the room, and then resumes the story.

“So, I am distraught, and sitting on the suddenly too tall couch, and reach for the remote to see if something was mentioned on the news, but the remote was too far. I stretched for it, and suddenly my arm got longer- and I passed out again.” Victor laughs at the memory.

“Long story short, I didn’t see Hank for a full month, and I missed him badly, but I tried to spend my time discovering my powers, and learned how to use them. The next time we were supposed to film a new commercial I showed up alone. Needless to say, Tecate® was mad- I was told I had to see the VP of Marketing in New York.”

“Everyone talks about airline flight being tough on tall people- but try it being 3′ tall! Everything is sized for a normal human!”

(Note- Video may be offensive to some- Introduces Victor’s secret identity, Rebota, which in English means bounce)

 

“Anyway, I met with Greg, the VP, and we hatched a plan. I was going to secretly do some industrial espionage with my new powers, and Tecate® and I would stay partners! Ever notice how good the Tecate® Stout is?”

“So, while all that was exciting, I was really sad- I was really missing my friend the horse! A month had gone by, and I started getting desperate- I had scoured the internet, chased down some strange leads, and then, while watching a Tampa Bay Buccaneers game, I saw him! There, on the football field! He was dressed like a pirate and riding a horse with 2018 legend Ryan Fitzpatrick (who still has his magical beard).”

“Anyone want another Tecate®?”

“So, I rushed, breaking a bunch of speed laws, to Tampa, and got to see him after the game. We caught up, and Hank and I have been a team again ever since! We are roommates now, and doing even more commercials together for Tecate® Beer, who seem pleased to have such unique spokesmen.”

“Our most recent commercial shoot for Tecate® Beer brought us here to Century Station.”

“I will let Hank tell about the time apart if he wants, but that is a brief summary. Freak accident for me, but I don’t regret it nowadays!”

“I will, with full disclosure, tell you all that some of things I have done for Tecate® was truly espionage, and I used the name Rebota doing those secret jobs. I am looking for a good name other than Victor for hero work, preferably Tecate® and/or beer related.”

 

Valenzuela picture from Pamela Schreckengost
La Flamma Blanca picture from Go Horse Betting