Don’t Be A Sharon- Part 2

Hi boys and girls- my name is Ethel, or if your parents taught you well, Mrs. Falkenberg. I promise that everything I am about to tell you is true- or, in my advanced age, I just misremembered.

So after 20 years of friendship, of double dating as couples, Sharon’s husband was killed in a drive-by shooting. She seemed devastated- nowadays I wonder how much that was real, and how much she was acting. In my darker days I wonder if she killed him, as there was nothing found at the scene except his dead body, his car, and the bullets that killed him.

After his death, despite many attempts by yours truly, she withdrew from me- the only time I saw her were my visits to Harold’s (spit) office. Soon those became infrequent- he was always “too busy with work”.

Too busy screwing his secretary is what I know now! Personally I think now that her husband found out, and she either killed him, or had him killed- probably the latter, with my money!

When Harold (spit) died she had the nerve to sit near me at the funeral, and was nice to me. That all vanished at the reading of the will. She showed up all smiles with 5 lawyers- FIVE! All he left me was my parents house in Retropolis, my car, and his Aircar! What little that they had not spent, a million dollars, was left to her. Either they had spent the rest, or she has it hidden somewhere- I bet the latter! Of course I had little in my name- we had been a traditional couple, and I never saw any of this coming. I had to sell my car to pay for the funeral, and my lawyer, being an old family friend, took pity on me and charged not a dime.

As I said before, Sharon will pay, somehow…. She has a lavish home in Avalon, a wardrobe to envy, other homes around the world, and a private bleeping jet! Meanwhile I have to live on Social Security- the only thing I got is the Aircar! Sharon stole my money, and my husband- legally, but one day she will pay!! Karma is coming!

Ethel picture of Grece Ghanem
Sharon picture from 20th Century Fox