Battle Thrills

Battle Thrills

Look Out, Granny’s Got an Adrenaline Rush

Hi boys and girls- my name is Ethel, or if your parents taught you well, Mrs. Falkenberg. I promise that everything I am about to tell you is true- or, in my advanced age, I just misremembered. Oh, and yes, sometimes this old Biddy writes in Shakespearean English just for fun- you should learn about Will sometime.

I feeleth most wondrous, I feeleth young again- nay wait, I feeleth better than I ever hast! We, mine brother Jake, and Shorty, and I wast on our way to the meeting at which hour all of our phones did ring, simultaneously! Well this spooked the bejesus out of me, and I just couldn’t seemeth to maketh the speaker on the phone worketh, but ‘t did turn out to beest yond nice gentleman Richard, aka the Geist.

After some confusion, we finally did understand yond the Geist and Zeau wast requesting holp for a hurlyburly yond they wast involved in! I wast so excited I almost did wet mine Depends! We wast off yarely, and I did do bethink of mine horoscope for this very day.

“Taketh the initiative to start a new routine for yourself in the place of worketh this present day. Don’t beest afraid to bite off moo than thou bethink thou can cheweth. Thou wilt dudgeon every new task just beautifully. Don’t doubt thyself. Hast faith in thy abilities.”

So with yond boost to mine confidence, plus mine Therapist’s instructions to findeth a hobby to did let out mine spleen, we arrived at the scene.

‘t did seem yond Gryphon, Miss Most Wondrous, and The Sir in Black did already arrived, and wast lending supporteth. Gryphon did lend some serious teen to the enemies, which did seem to beest some bizarre robots did do build from spare parts. He did do cometh flying in and did crush some of those folk, parts flying everywhere. Miss Most Wondrous did jump in, trying to save the armored carrier yond wast under attack. The only reason I did knoweth the Sir in Black wast hither wast the regular perfectly did placed shots to something on the armored car- the Sir can shoot!

After watching Gryphon, I wast did inspire. As Jake did wend to turn the car, I did do decide to leap out! Mine horoscope wast right- this wast excit’ment! I did rush out and did yell, “Batter Up!” as I did swing mine Dempsey at the gear did maketh contraptions. I did leap full on to the moving armored car, moving as festinate, nay, faster, than Gryphon did has’t flown. Parts did scatter in front of me until suddenly I wast visage to visage with a human, who is’t did seem to beest controlling those folk. I did control myself, and while I did did lie him out with a palmy blow, I did maketh sure yond I did do not killeth him! Dr. Erikson wast already having a positive effect.

Long story short we did do vanquish our enemies, but I just did want to did let this diary wot- I hast did find the outlet for mine spleen, and ‘t is fighting evil. I am back on the road to being myself, valorous corky Ethel! This means I am going to be Granny2Good!

 

Ethel picture is actually of Grace Ghanem

 


5 Replies to “Battle Thrills”

  1. One dost thinketh her use of the King’s ye olde English doth be in dire needeth of improvementeth. I loveth the angle though!

    1. If ‘t be true thee drinketh enow ’twill maketh far m’re senseth
      I shalt w’rk on making t m’re authentic in the next logeth

  2. Doth be mine name truly not Sir, but to the counter, be doth Thy Sir of The Black, say it truly, thoughest be rightous, else yon be bludgeoned.

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